Can't Always Believe What You Read in the Papers
by Realmer06
Summary: Ginny reads Rita Skeeter's latest work of fiction to Dumbledore's Army.


Because my Pieces canon must be preserved AT ALL COSTS.

Besides, JKR's new info is through the voice of Rita Skeeter, and must therefore be taken with a spoonful of salt.

JK Rowling owns all. But I can get around what she says sometimes. :)

* * *

That night, after the various Weasley-Potter children had been put to bed, there was a larger than usual gathering in the Potters' tent. Almost all the branches of the Weasley family were there, along with the Longbottoms and the Scamanders, and a few others of the old Dumbledore's Army who had come to Patagonia for the Quidditch World Cup.

"Ahem," Ginny Potter said dramatically, standing before them all and holding her hands up for silence. "Ladies and gentlemen, family and friends," she said when she had everyone's attention. "I have gathered you all here tonight, rather than reading this aloud in Ron's living room as usual because _this_ time, Rita Skeeter has written about us _all_."

There were noises of understanding from around the tent, chuckles and murmurings. Ginny grinned. "_If_ I may have your attention, I present to you, fresh from the _pre_-presses, with much thanks to my good friend Shari Cadwallader in printing, the latest and greatest from the incomparable, the inimitable, the utterly incomprehensible Rita Skeeter!" And she popped open the next day's _Daily Prophet_ with a flourish and began to read.

"'There are celebrities – and then there are _celebrities_,'" she began with a theatrical flair.

Rita Skeeter's latest article was met by the former members of Dumbledore's Army with all the ridicule and amusement it deserved.

When she read, "'About to turn 34, there are a couple of threads of silver in the famous Auror's black hair, but he continues to wear the distinctive round glasses that some might say are better suited to a style-deficient twelve-year-old,'" George broke in:

"Hate to break it to you, mate, but she might have a point on that one." Harry chucked a peanut at his brother-in-law. Ginny continued.

When she read, "'Or does his injury have a more humble origin, one that Potter is desperate to hide? Has his wife perhaps cursed him? Are cracks beginning to show in a union that the Potters are determined to promote as happy?,'" Harry sighed.

"They're onto us, Gin," he said heavily. "The late night duels, the tension that drives you to foreign countries."

"Pretty soon they'll find out that Lily's actually mine," Neville broke in with a grin. Hannah shoved him, laughing.

"Yeah, we're gonna get to you in a minute," Ginny promised. She read on, about Harry taking the boys to meet Victor Krum:

"Where was Lily during that introduction, that's what I want to know," asked Angelina.

"Spending time with her real dad, of course," was George's quip in reply.

About Harry's supposed illicit affair with Krum:

"Yeah, I was off having a tryst in the maze in between getting attacked by Sphinxes and spiders and Skrewts," Harry said wryly.

"I know," Fleur said with a grin. "I saw."

About the reasons why Ron had chosen to leave the Aurors to help George with the shop:

"And it couldn't possibly be because Hermione and I were getting married and I wanted to move to a job where my life _wasn't_ constantly in danger," Ron snarked.

Hermione just yawned at the descriptions of _femme fatale_ and the jibe at her hair.

"That was actually almost complimentary, Hermione," Audrey observed.

"She's still afraid I'll turned her in for being an Unregistered Animagus, I expect."

"Didn't you turn her in for that years ago?" Percy asked with a frown. Hermione grinned wickedly.

"Well, no one has ever lauded Rita for common sense."

When Ginny read, "'Until recently the pair lived above the Leaky Cauldron in London, but rumour has it that Hannah has not only retrained as a Healer, but is applying for the job of Matron at Hogwarts,'" Neville turned to his wife with an eyebrow raised.

"Honey," he said, "you might have told me."

"Sorry, love," Hannah said with a put-upon sigh. "Here I thought we moved out of the flat above the pub because my father moved to the coast and left us the house so we didn't have to live in a flat above the pub, but apparently, I was mistaken, and it's actually because I've given up the Cauldron to become a Healer."

"Hogwarts Matron, no less. You know, Madame Pomfrey might also have told me she was retiring. I'd have gotten her a gift."

Ginny continued, and more quips were made, about Rolf and Luna being "swarthy" and "delightfully eccentric," the speculation on Charlie's singledom, and the various theories of how Bill had managed to secure Fleur. It was all good-natured and light-hearted, and apart from Ron's grumbling about pushing back his announcement and Fleur's ominously murderous look at being referred to as "empty-headed," the whole article was pronounced a rousing success in terms of providing amusement.

"Although, if, as she suggests, your apparently adopted son is stealing the virtue of my eldest daughter," Bill said amiably to Harry, "I may have to challenge you to a duel."

"Yeah, Andromeda is going to love the implication that I'm the one who's raised him," Harry said, his voice dry. "Though Calliope Bainbridge should be thrilled with being mistaken for Victoire."

"Is that who he's running around with these days?" Neville asked Harry, and Harry sighed.

"As of this past week," he said. "And if there's one thing she did manage to get right, it's that he's been running a little too wild around the place. I've gotten the same reports, and I'm going to have to do something about it, unfortunately. Not looking forward to that conversation."

"Well," Ginny said, folding the paper and sliding onto Harry's lap, "at least you can rest easy knowing that once that conversation is concluded, you can sit back and forget about your trouble with Rita's next astounding work of fiction, _Dumbledore's Army: The Dark Side of the Demob_, just in time for your birthday."

"And really," Harry said, returning his wife's grin, "what more could the man they still call the Chosen One ask for?"


End file.
